20 Signs Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, your cell number, 2 email addresses, your Facebook address, your MySpace address, and your Twitter address. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
   
   
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
   
   
3. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
   
   
4. You disdain people who still are on "dial-up".
   
   
5. You have an iPod playing in your ears, iPhone in your hand, and laptop on your lap - and you're somehow using them all at the same time...
   
   
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
   
   
7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
   
   
8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
   
   
9. You know the e-mail addresses of 10 of your closest friends by heart, but you have to look up your own social security number.
   
   
10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
    
    
11. You have 1000 "friends" on Facebook and get tweeted by all the great tweeting Twitterers, yet somehow have this nagging feeling that you're actually LESS connected than you were just a few short years ago - you know, when you actually TALKED to the few people that you really WANTED to talk to?
    
    
12. You sign Christmas cards by putting :-) next to your signature.
    
    
13. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-).
    
    
14. You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.
    
    
15. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
    
    
16. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare texting-induced finger strain with a nine-year-old.
    
    
17. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
    
    
18. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better -- the mouse or the track pad.
    
    
19. You spend more time on Facebook reading such important status updates as "I am now home" or "I am now going to the bathroom", than you do praying or reading your Bible (ouch!!)
    
    
20. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.

[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) ]