Smart phones - stupid people sign.

Actual Instructions

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:
  1. ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;
    - Do not use while sleeping.

  2. ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
    - You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

  3. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,
    - Directions: Use like regular soap.

  4. ON A FROZEN DINNER:
    - Serving suggestion: Defrost.

  5. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
    - Fits one head.

  6. ON TIRIMISU DESERT
    - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

  7. ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
    - Product will be hot after heating.

  8. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
    - Do not iron clothes on body.

  9. ON CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
    - Do not drive car or operate machinery.

  10. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
    - Warning: may cause drowsiness.

  11. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
    - Warning: keep out of children.

  12. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
    - For indoor or outdoor use only.

  13. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
    - Not to be used for the other use.

  14. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
    - Warning: contains nuts.

  15. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
    - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

  16. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
    - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) ]

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