Men's Rules

1. The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.
   
   
2. Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.
   
   
3. When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial, do not hassle me that the commercials have probably finished, and to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.
   
   
4. If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.
   
   
5. If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
   
   
6. If you don't like the way I am driving, close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.
   
   
7. I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.
   
   
8. Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all, I am getting dressed, not getting ready.
   
   
9. Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.
   
   
10. If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair.
    
    
11. I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.
    
    
12. Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) - updated ]