Nit's Chief Picker

1. I cannot count the number of hours I work each week. I work for a company called NIT. I have been with them for years and have now been promoted to the position of Chief Picker.
   
   
2. There are thousands of employees worldwide, but it seems we always have room for one more. Despite the cruel remarks of others, calling us "nit-pickers" and all, we provide a much needed service.
   
   
3. Who else can you depend on to tell you what you're doing wrong with things in your life? To be very honest, everybody needs us to stand-by and correct almost every move they make.
   
   
4. In our reports, we use a lot of words like, "always", "never", and my favorite, "completely messed up."
   
   
5. You just know there are so many people who can't seem to get anything right, so we have to be there to watch over them "all" the time. You don't have to go far to find people who need this kind of help.
   
   
6. In fact, we have a lot of "pickers" work out of their own homes. They make themselves available to their spouses, children and other family members.
   
   
7. How many times we have aborted mistakes in the personal lives of others? There's no telling how much good we do.
   
   
8. But after work -- and many times I have taken my work home with me -- I go to the company gym for a work-out. You just have to keep in shape these days. We don't have any of that "high-priced" stuff, like weight rooms, sauna's, exercise bikes or treadmills.
   
   
9. We have found over time that the best results come from only one exercise, "jumping to conclusions."
   
   
10. Mind you, I have never seen any loss of weight for myself, or anybody else for that matter, but regardless we work-out every day.
    
    
11. We certainly don't hold to that old adage about "assuming" things. There is no such thing as a "benefit of a doubt."
    
    
12. No, we're sure when we are "jumping to conclusions" that we are always correct.
    
    
13. Some folks try to confuse us with what they call, "known facts." Well, if it was known, why didn't we know?
    
    
14. Anyway, you'll have to excuse me, I must go home and rest. Hey, that guy over there has on two different socks and I think I know why he's talking to that secretary.
    
    
15. Generally, I say, "I shouldn't tell you this, but..."
    
    
16. But I always do. I think I have nit-picking on the brain. I must rest now. I have several judgments to make tomorrow, so bye for now.
    
    
17. Just try to stay out of trouble -- you know one of us is always watching.

[ by: Larry Harp, Bedford, Texas - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) - updated ]