You Work in Corporate America If . . .
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You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
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Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
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Your resume is on a DVD in your pocket.
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Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
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You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
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When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
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You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
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You learn about your layoff on CNN.
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Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
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You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
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Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
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You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
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It's dark when you drive to and from work.
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Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
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Communication is something your group is having problems with.
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You see a good looking person and know they're a visitor.
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Free food left over from meetings is your main staple of your diet.
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Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
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Art involves a white board.
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You're already late on the assignment you just got.